I haven't been on to spill my feelings into this blog in a while. 10 days to be exact. OUCH. That's a long time...

However, I do have a few good reasons for not posting. First of all, this past week was my first week of Rookie/Color Guard camp. It was rather intense. I believe it is safe to say that I now have begun the road to achieving my Color Guard MAN ARMS. Yep. I can definitely see my muscles now. And my calf muscles are rock solid. Oh yeah... ;D

Everyday, at Guard camp, we did over 100 sits up, over 100 push ups, and ran around the band room for 5 to 6 laps. It was intense.

Well, my other reason being that I believe the computer has become and idol in my life. I am trying not to use it as much. So yeah.

Well, I'm not quite sure of the next time I will be on. :/
Maybe later today, or in a few days, I have decided to start posting some pics and stuff. Maybe I will blog about that. =D

Anyways, I shall BBS. =]


Caio.

I'm listening to Relient K.
Probably one of the most amazing bands ever. Either that, or just my most favorite band ever.

Today is going exceptionally well. I woke up, and thanked God for today and all of the blessings he's given to me. At my age, I'm still trying to find myself, and who I am in God. I have heard people say they think I am surprisingly mature at my age.

But really I'm still trying to figure everything out.
My pastor says, "If you're having trouble, God's still working on you." I find those words encouraging, because I have problems everyday. =/ It's horrible. For the longest time I have struggled with the realization that I am not perfect, and I never will be. Personally, I hate to fail. And everytime I sin, I feel like I'm failing every single time.

I'm slowly beginning to realize that NO ONE (other than Jesus Christ) is perfect. God knows this. That's why he sent Jesus. But... I don't know. In my mind, I feel horrible because, I just feel like I'm constantly letting him down. And it's quite heartbreaking. I want to make him happy, I don't want to fail time and time again.

I guess... I have to realize that in my trying, I am making Him happy. I may fail, but I get up, and keep trying. That has to count. Right?

I hope so.

For the past few weeks there have been no posts. Mostly because I have been too lazy to post them. A few times I did come on, only to find myself starting a post, and then stopping before the second sentence was even complete. It didn't feel right. It didn't feel free. I wanted it to flow. I was mostly just getting on just for the sake of posting something.

But now I am not. Now I am here, posting away to my little hearts content.

I often find myself wishing the past wasn't so... unforgettable. =/
I constantly ask myself what life would be like if I didn't remember some of the things I wish I could forget. And then I come to realize that life might even be worse. Worse because I would make the same mistakes over and over again. But better, because I would never remember.

Yes. I am thankful I remember.
I am glad I remember those painful yet awkward moments that I we had to share. Those interesting times in which I just wished had never happened. And then there's those times in which I wish had never stopped. Yes. Those are the times in which we all truely learn to live.

Lately I have been practicing on my guitar. I'm getting better and better each day. It's nice. To know that I am REMEMBERING the notes, and everything is well.

But then there is this awkward moment, on facebook that is. One of my sister's friends absolutely insists that he say he "loves me" and then ask me to be his girlfriend. -_- Note, he was in my younger sisters elementary class and he's never met me in real life. Yet, he constantly insists because I'm beautiful and have a nice personality.

I asked him what my favorite color was.
He didn't know.

(It's green by the way).

Yep... those are one of the moments in which I wish had never come.
It may not have even happened if he was never on my friends list. Come to think of it, I don't even know how he got on there. 0_o

Weird.
I believe I have proved my point.